Saturday, June 28, 2008

Beautiful Memory...

~ Beautiful Sunset at Damai~

On the 20th June sportday...
but i dint go...^^
i overnight at my cousin's friend house before go to Damai...
We look for food until 1am something...

~Aaron(front), Khang Ling(left), Me(middle) & Lui Chin(right) in the pool~

~Aaron & Willie~

Aaron & Willie always sleep late one...go to the beach to catch crabs...Gylyn follow suits...We swim so become "lobster" le...I become barbiedoll...that "king kong" carry and throw me into the water...xp Ron become my horse...hahaha...

~All in...except Willie~

Front: Me, Lui Chin, Khang Ling, Su Ling(my cousin)

Back: Aaron & Gylyn

~Now is except Khang Ling...What is Aaron doing???~

~Enjoy Willie cook de mushroom soup...Aaron is trying to hide me with his bowl...MISSION FAIL...haha...xp~

~Aaron & I in the bus...on the way sunlight..xp~

~Another beautiful sunset at Damai~

The day pass so fast...3 days 2 night at Damai Beach had ended...i fell so 1 go home le...i belive the others feel it too...It was a memorable holiday at Damai for all of us...Hope we can go together again...but my cousin say have to wait SPM end then will bring me go...

Thursday, June 5, 2008

Surviving a Long Distance Relationship

Challenging and difficult, though they may not be what we want to hear, are the words that best describe long distance relationships. Keep in mind however, that the words are challenging and difficult, not impossible. Many people choose to give a long distance relationship a try, with the constant curiosity if it was the right decision to make and if it even stands a chance. The truth is, a long distance relationship has just as much a chance of succeeding as any other relationship!

Long Distance Relationships share the same facts as an average relationship. It involves two people who share an interest in each other's lives, care for one another and of course have a love for each other that they hope will only continue to grow. On the other hand, a long distance relationship does have its differences as well. It takes away your ability to see each other on a frequent note, as well as the choice of being intimate whenever you desire, not to mention that there would be major trust required. Being unable to spend time together in a physical presence makes it harder to hang on to, but does not spell out doom for your relationship.

The first step is to make an agreement of what your expectations are in the relationship and how much of a commitment you are willing to give and receive. If the two of you decide to be monogamous, then it is clear that neither of you will be dating anyone else as long as your romantic relationship exists. Being clear about what you both want is extremely important, especially in a long distance relationship, in order to prevent future misunderstandings and mistakes. Do not feel afraid to tell your partner what you really need and want from him or her, you deserve the chance to speak from your heart and he or she deserves to know the truth and judge whether they can give it to you.

Trust is a major necessity if you wish to have your relationship from a distance. Without trust and honesty, the relationship is in for danger and unsuccessfulness, just as it would be any other relationship. By accepting the challenge of a long distance relationship, you also accepted the fact that you will have to have the trust and faith that your partner will not be seeing anyone else as promised. Being paranoid and accusing will only grow doubts, insecurity and tension between you and none of those three will help the relationship survive successfully.

Keeping each other informed of the friendships you have with other people and the events that take place in your personal life is a great way to keep your relationship alive and healthy; and continues to make your partner a part of your life. It is essential that you receive the same information from your partner as well, so you both feel the same security and satisfaction that you both crave. Be creative with the way you keep in touch, such as calling, e-mailing, faxing and sending cards. Pay attention to how many times a week you are staying in touch as well. If you want your bond to stay strong and loving, you have to hear from one another often, leaving as little room for any of you to start getting paranoid about anything. Although you cannot be romantic towards each other on a physical note, you can still perform romantic acts that will keep the romance department happy. You can do this by sending love letters and poems, having flowers and gifts delivered, or even sending a video of yourself with a loving message. Reminding your partner of how much you think about and love him or her will score high points, making them miss you more with the constant urge to see you.

Planning reunions play a big part in keeping your relationship exciting, plus serve you the satisfaction of being able to see and touch each other occasionally. It gives you the opportunity to catch up on each other's life in person and to be able to share physical and intimate activities together, which will fulfill both of your needs and desires. Not re-uniting every once in a while will only damage the relationship you have, so if one of you are not willing to visit the other occasionally, then you may need to question the interest and care your partner has for you and should probably end the relationship and move on. If you and your partner truly want this to work out, then you will both continue to be eager to see each other as often as you can and every time to have the chance to.

Setting a limit of how long you will be apart is a wise thing to do if you do not want to end up waiting forever. There will be a day when you and your partner will have to start planning a serious future, which can only happen when you are living in the same area or perhaps even living together, whichever makes you most comfortable. If none of you are willing to agree on a place to settle and start having a relationship where you see each other on a regular basis, then you can pretty much forget about accomplishing anything out of your long distance relationship. If your partner truly loves you and wants to be with you, then they would not want to wait forever to be with you.

With the right amount of effort and interest on both parts, a long distance relationship can survive the obstacles it will frequently be challenged with. As long as you both refresh your memories of why you chose to do this in the first place, trust each other, inform one another of your personal lives, keep in touch, and visit, your relationship can turn out to be one of the most successful and happy relationships that ever existed. You both will be secure, happy and satisfied until the day comes when you will re-unite for good and build your wonderful future together.

Long Distance Relationship Gift Ideas

Are you stuck trying to find a unique gift for your mate? Below you will find some great gift ideas that will be sure to wow your mate!

Give the Gift of Beer
What man wouldn't love to get beer as a gift! I'm not talking about the six-pack that you get at the grocery store, but a home micro brewery kit! These kits teach you and provide you with all the equipment you need to brew your own beer at home! Your man will be the envy of all his friends and it will all be because of you.

Gifts That Keeps on Giving
Gift clubs allow you to choose an item like wine, cigars, or cookies and have them delivered to your mate every month for up to a year! It's a great way to continually send a gift without having to purchase and send every month.

Is your mate a big sports fan or does he/she love going to concerts? Why not buy them a couple of tickets to a sports game or a concert. Buy them two tickets, so they can take a friend. If you really want to make it special, send them one ticket and surprise them at the event by sitting in the seat next to them. This will surely be a present and a moment that the two of you will never forget.

Music to My Ears
Does you mate have an iPod? If he or she does, create a play list of your favorite songs and send them to your mate. Not only will you be giving a great gift, but you'll also be sharing your music taste with your mate.

Tasty Treats
Sending your mate cakes, cookies, and other treats can be a good alternative to flowers. This is a great gift on birthdays! You can't share a cake with your mate, but you can definitely send him or her one!

Treat your mate to a day at the local spa! At Spa Finder, you can search for local spas and order gift certificates to send to your mate. You can search by zip code, so it's very easy to find a great spa.

Long Distance Relationship Poems

The Road Not Taken
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveller, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;
Then took the other, as just as fair
And having perhaps the better claim
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yey knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sign
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I -
I took the one less travelled by,
And that has made all the difference.
By Robert Frost
Remember me when I am gone away,
Gone far away into the silent land;
When you can no more hold me by the hand,
Nor I half turn to go yet turning stay.
Remember me when no more day by day
You tell me of our future that you plann'd;
Only remember me; you understand
It will be late to counsel then or pray.
Yet if you should forget me for a while
And afterwards remember, do not grieve:
For if the darkness and corruption leave
A vestige of the thoughts that once I had,
Better by far you should forget and smile
Than that you should forget and smile
By Christina G. Rossetti
COLD in the earth—and the deep snow piled above thee,
Far, far removed, cold in the dreary grave!
Have I forgot, my only Love, to love thee,
Sever'd at last by Time's all-severing wave?
Now, when alone, do my thoughts no longer hover
Over the mountains, on that northern shore,
Resting their wings where heath and fern-leaves cover
Thy noble heart for ever, ever more?
Cold in the earth—and fifteen wild Decembers
From those brown hills have melted into spring:
Faithful, indeed, is the spirit that remembers
After such years of change and suffering!
Sweet Love of youth, forgive, if I forget thee,
While the world's tide is bearing me along;
Other desires and other hopes beset me,
Hopes which obscure, but cannot do thee wrong!
No later light has lighten'd up my heaven,
No second morn has ever shone for me;
All my life's bliss from thy dear life was given,
All my life's bliss is in the grave with thee.
But when the days of golden dreams had perish'd,
And even Despair was powerless to destroy;
Then did I learn how existence could be cherish'd,
Strengthen'd and fed without the aid of joy.
Then did I check the tears of useless passion—
Wean'd my young soul from yearning after thine;
Sternly denied its burning wish to hasten
Down to that tomb already more than mine.
And, even yet, I dare not let it languish,
Dare not indulge in memory's rapturous pain;
Once drinking deep of that divinest anguish,
How could I seek the empty world again?
By Emily Brontë.

Do you Trust Your Mate?

Trusting your mate is one of the most difficult issues that couples in long distance relationships have to deal with. It is difficult due to the distance and not being able to see your mate. Thoughts of infidelity and other misdeeds can easily creep into your mind. You begin to think, “Is he seeing someone else?” or “Is she going out partying every night?” If those statements remind you of yourself, please read on and follow the steps suggested below.

Step 1:~
The first step is to analyze whether the distance between you and your mate or your mate as a person causes your trust issues. Are there specific actions that your mate is doing that trigger your mistrust? For example, is he or she always hard to get a hold of on the phone or does he or she not introduce you to friends and family? If yes, then you may have justification for your mistrust and should discuss them openly with your mate. Otherwise, it is more than likely that your mistrust is rooted in the distance between you two and not based on your mate’s actions. This type of mistrust lies within yourself, as your mate is not doing anything wrong. If you fall within this category, you should definitely follow step two.

Step 2:~
The second step is to make an investment in a good self-help book. Building trust is not an overnight process and you are not going to find all the answers on the web. Most good self-help books will have exercises and a plan laid out for you to follow. You will gradually start to build trust in not only your long distance relationship, but with all other relationships as well. Below are some suggested books that you can take a look at.
The Courage To Trust: A Guide To Building Deep And Lasting Relationships
Broken Promises, Mended Hearts : Maintaining Trust in Love Relationships
Building Trust : In Business, Politics, Relationships, and Life

In summary, trust is a complicated issue and they key in long distance relationships is to determine whether the trust issues are based on fact or if the issues lie within yourself. If they are based on fact, you should confront your mate and discuss the issues with him or her. If they lie within yourself, you should find some books to help you to build your trust.

Communication Tips for Long Distance Relationship

If you have been in your long distance relationship for a while, you probably know that it sometimes can be hard to come up with things to talk about on the phone. This is not because the two of you are not compatible, it’s because couples in long distance relationships are on the phone so much they usually exhaust topics really fast. How many times can you ask how the other person’s day was, right? Below is a list of interesting conversation topics that will hopefully keep your phone calls fresh. Scan the newspaper or your favorite online news source for the latest currents events. Pick a topic that you think will interest your mate and discuss it with him or her.

1. Ask Questions
This may seem obvious, but most people just don't ask enough questions. I'm not talking about “How was your day?” or “What is the weather like,” but rather questions that will help you get to know your mate better. Typically these questions are not one-word answers and will lead to further conversation. Some examples are below:
If you were going to be stuck on a deserted island and you could only bring three things with you, what would it be and why?
What's the most embarrassing thing that has happened to you?

2. Talk About Your Mate
People love to talk about themselves and their hobbies. Find out what your mate is passionate about and then learn as much as you can about the subject. Once you have learned as much as you can, you can discuss it with your mate the next time you are on the phone together. Your mate will be impressed with you taking the time to learn about his or her passion.

3. Talk about Friends and Family
Talking about friends and family is an important step to making a long distance relationship successful. If the two of you decide to get married one day, you will need to interact with your mate’s friends and family, so it’s a good idea to get to know what they are like.
In closing, I’d like to mention that the most important part of the conversation is not what you say, but rather how well you listen. Listen to what your mate is saying to you and you'll always have something to talk about.

Tips for Long Distance Relationship

Tips 1:
Take pictures of everyday activities and send them to your mate.
A picture is worth a thousand words and can help you and your mate feel closer together in your long distance relationship. Today, with most cell phones equipped with a digital camera and cameras small enough to fit in your pocket, it’s very easy and convenient to take pictures and email them to your mate. With pictures, your mate can easily know what you are talking about when you describe the great party you went to or the new hairstyle that you just got. Some other examples of when you can take a picture are listed below:
* New outfit that your have purchased.
* Family or friends get together.
* Changes to your bedroom.
* Changes to your physical appearance (hairstyle, piercing, etc.)
* Pictures of your office or cubicle.

Tips 2:
Send gifts to your mate’s from their local country or city.
You can save a lot of money by searching the Internet for local companies to buy from and deliver your gifts. For example, if you are living in the United States and your mate is from Italy, find an Italian company that has the great gift that you want to send to your mate. In most cases, you will save on international shipping costs and you might even save on the currency exchange rate. Also, a local company will be able to deliver a gift much quicker for those last minute shoppers.

Tips 3:
Use text-messaging capability to keep in touch more frequently.
Text messaging can be a simple was to keep in touch with your mate in a long distance relationship. For those across the border relationships, this can also be an inexpensive way to communicate. It’s not always convenient to call, so text messages are a good alternative. You can send good night messages or little love notes throughout the day.

Tips 4:
Trust your mate.
Ideas of mistrust can easily seep into the minds of those involved in a long distance relationship because you don’t get to physically see your mate. They may be saying that they are not seeing anyone else, but how do you know that for sure hundreds or even thousands of miles away? This mistrust can ultimately lead to the relationship ending. You should approach the trust issue in a long distance relationship the same way as you would in a normal relationship. If there is no indication or evidence of cheating, it is most likely not happening.

Tips 5:
Introduce your mate to your friends and family.
How many times have you been out with your friends and you bring up your mate into conversation and your friends don’t believe he/she even exists? It is typical in a long distance relationship when two people visit each other they spend time only with each other. Although it is necessary to have time together, it is also necessary for your mate to experience other aspects of your life. Introduce him/her to your friends and family, so they can get to know your mate. It will only broaden your relationship and it will have a greater chance to succeed.

Tips 6:
Visit each other frequently.
This is not really a tip for a long distance relationship to be successful, but rather a requirement. To keep your long distance relationship going, you need to have in your mind the feeling and emotions of being with your mate. What keeps you together while you are apart is the idea of eventually being together. This can only be achieved by visiting each other whenever you have a chance.

Tips 7:
Ease into being together.
It can sometimes be difficult for two people who are involved in a long distance relationship to connect easily when they are together with their mate. Yes, you probably know everything about each other and talk everyday, but that is not a substitute for real contact. Both of you will need some time to adjust to being in each other’s presence. Be aware that it may take your mate longer than you and you should allow them that time.

Tips 8:
Write letters and send cards.
Nothing is more romantic than a handwritten letter or card that you send to your mate for no reason at all. Variety in a long distance relationship will help keep things new and fresh. Your mate will appreciate the fact that you took time out to write such a wonderful letter or sent a card.