Thursday, June 5, 2008

Do you Trust Your Mate?

Trusting your mate is one of the most difficult issues that couples in long distance relationships have to deal with. It is difficult due to the distance and not being able to see your mate. Thoughts of infidelity and other misdeeds can easily creep into your mind. You begin to think, “Is he seeing someone else?” or “Is she going out partying every night?” If those statements remind you of yourself, please read on and follow the steps suggested below.

Step 1:~
The first step is to analyze whether the distance between you and your mate or your mate as a person causes your trust issues. Are there specific actions that your mate is doing that trigger your mistrust? For example, is he or she always hard to get a hold of on the phone or does he or she not introduce you to friends and family? If yes, then you may have justification for your mistrust and should discuss them openly with your mate. Otherwise, it is more than likely that your mistrust is rooted in the distance between you two and not based on your mate’s actions. This type of mistrust lies within yourself, as your mate is not doing anything wrong. If you fall within this category, you should definitely follow step two.

Step 2:~
The second step is to make an investment in a good self-help book. Building trust is not an overnight process and you are not going to find all the answers on the web. Most good self-help books will have exercises and a plan laid out for you to follow. You will gradually start to build trust in not only your long distance relationship, but with all other relationships as well. Below are some suggested books that you can take a look at.
The Courage To Trust: A Guide To Building Deep And Lasting Relationships
Broken Promises, Mended Hearts : Maintaining Trust in Love Relationships
Building Trust : In Business, Politics, Relationships, and Life

In summary, trust is a complicated issue and they key in long distance relationships is to determine whether the trust issues are based on fact or if the issues lie within yourself. If they are based on fact, you should confront your mate and discuss the issues with him or her. If they lie within yourself, you should find some books to help you to build your trust.

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